On Apr 22, during the Q&A segment of a reading I did at Barnes & Noble last year, someone asked, “Do you spit or swallow?" He did not raise his hand, nor did he speak loud enough so I could hear him. Rather, he asked the question just loud enough so my family seated immediately in the row in front of him could hear. On Apr 22, during the Q&A segment of a reading I did at Barnes & Noble last year, someone asked, "Do you spit or swallow?" He did not raise his hand, nor did he speak loud enough so I could hear him. Rather, he asked the question just loud enough so my family seated immediately in the row in front of him could hear.

Since he was so fixated on me that he went out of his way to attend my reading, we can assume that he reads this column on a regular basis. To answer your question, anonymous heckler, I do neither: I do not spit, nor do I swallow.

That's not to say that I haven't done either in the past, but I always felt uncomfortable with the presumptuous nature of the "spit or swallow" dichotomy, as if those are my only two choices. I mean, you really can't say, "Actually, I would prefer a pearl necklace, please," when you have a dick in your mouth.

And aren't we supposed to be using condoms anyway? If a man is wearing a condom like he's supposed to, then spitting and swallowing are not viable options. Although spitting may seem safer than swallowing, think of it this way: Semen is a bodily fluid, just like urine. Would you let a man piss in your mouth? And would you want to swallow it or spit it out? Probably neither, but no judgment against anyone who is into that sort of thing.

We're supposed to be using dental dams, too, but I've never seen one. Not one in my lifetime has a man ever used one while going down on me, even on my not-so-fresh days. It surprises me how unconcerned some of these men are about safe sex. All the more reason not to let them cum in my mouth!

However, many women enjoy swallowing their partner's ejaculate when they finish them off. I've done it before, either because I've really liked the guy or because I didn't want to offend him. But I feel really stupid about my behavior in retrospect. It wasn't safe and I'm damn lucky I didn't contract any STDs. Maybe I'll do it again for someone I truly adore in the future, but it's not likely: I'll probably just envision him peeing in my mouth and get too grossed-out to go through with it.

Join Jessica Cutler every month here at www.asiancemagazine.com and www.jessicacutleronline.com where she writes about dating, sex and relationships.