Facebook "Friends" with Benefits - Literally and Figuratively
Of course my editor will not let me use the f word, but you get the idea….dontcha?

I’m sitting at my usual, weeknight, mid-night spot: my full size bed, 500 count thread sheets (hotel collection), four queen sized pillows propping up my back with my laptop on my tah dah! Lap. It’s my nightly ritual! What am I doing at this ungodly hour? I’m checking my social networking accounts (love the letters you email me at nancy@asiancemagazine.com by the way).

Hmmm. Checking friend requests. 5 requests from women I know. 1 request from a work acquaintance and one from a GeorgieM. I peruse his profile. Oh Jesus! It’s George (last name withheld). We dated for about 8 months in college. He was a Professor of Law at BU and I remember him being quite good at cunnilingus…That’s always a plus.

I accepted his friend request.

Suddenly I hear a beep. Oh lovely. He’s IM’ing me.

GeorgieM: Hey you! It’s been a while. How have you been?

Me: Great. And you?

GeorgieM: Ok. I just I looked you up on facebook and saw you live in New York City. I thought we could get together and get a drink.

Ohh yeah right the good old let’s get a drink, which translates to: “Can I spend the least amount of money to get you in the sack”.

Me: What day? I’m pretty busy.

GeorgieM: Whatever day you are not busy 

Me: Next Tuesday should work.

GeorgieM: Ok let’s me at PJ Clarkes at 6:00pm.

Me: Sounds enticing.

Ah the good ole PJ Clarkes/ Where midtown bankers/lawyers and assholes hang in the hopes of laying an A list fashion, model or advertising type... you know? Girls who are looking for a husband any day of the week. I can already plan how this night, er morning is going to end. Oh and sorry men. GeorgieM is a non-Asian. Actually he is a WHITE male.

Fast forward - It’s Tuesday night 6:05pm

God there are so many cute guys in here. I’ll have to come back on my night off.

I see George, standing up against the wall with a big shit eating grin on his face.

George and I had great conversation. He’s been working at a major corporate law firm right here in the city and recently broke up with his girlfriend. One of the things he mentioned which stuck in my mind was the intellectual connection he said we had and always remembered.

I can agree with that. I AM highly intelligent.

We did have our share of drinks and he did spring for something to eat. Shocker! Guess he felt I was going to be an easy lay or something like that.

It was almost midnight and I was feeling good. The mashed potatoes I ordered helped me continue to enjoy my buzz instead of it ending up on the floor….or in a cab.

We hopped into a cab and went back to his place on Central Park West. Very nice.

As we walked into his apartment, black and white photos of himself adorned the entrance and hallway.
Who the f*ck does that?

Nice bachelor pad though and it had a view of the Park. No pictures or any remnants of women. So HE DID kick his girlfriend to the curb!

I was so turned on by the view and drunk that I threw him on the couch and jumped him.

I blindfolded him, tied him to the chair and rode him hard.

He did say I was the best sex he ever had, when we were dating. I can’t possibly think he would have changed his mind.

The passionate night of love making ended when I realized I had to work the next day. I left his apartment at 7am, just in time to cab it home, take a shower, grab a coffee and get into work by 8:30am.

While I was on the subway reminiscing about the night, I realized he had way less hair on his head than he had 8 years ago, but what man doesn’t?

When I arrived at work, I already had a voice mail from him telling me what a great night he had.

Yeah I know. I’m THAT GOOD! No need to explain.

George asked me out again for Thursday night. I happily obliged. I had no one else in mind that I was planning to see that week.

Thursday came and went. Bing, Bam, bang,boom. Oh yeah.

You could tell he was back on the market and taking full advantage of it. We did have a great connection and I could feel it coming back. I went out with him one more time. He then started to grow a little distant and not on my ass as usual.

Two weeks ago, 3 three weeks since George first contacted me via facebook, while visiting one of my friends in Greenwich, CT, I had the shock of my life. It was the most beautiful Saturday. I was sitting at an outside café on Greenwich Avenue, having a cocktail with 2 of my girlfriends. And what transpires?

A very handsome man, with a two year old toddler on his shoulders, walks passed, makes eye contact with me and continues walking.

I know that guy, I said to myself.

“Oh my god THAT’s GEORGE!!!!” I scream to my girlfriends.

“The old bachelor?”, one says.

“Mother F***** Yes!”

I turn around, check him out and notice a never before seen accessory! He’s walking with a petite woman pushing a baby stroller.

Excusie Moi? I don’t think so!

The old Nancy Lee would’ve let him keep walking, knowing he would get his one day but this time, I don’t think so. Not with the way he sought me out and pursued me!

I was pissed! I told my friends I would be right back.

One of my girlfriends screamed, “Wait!”

I ran up to “GeorgieM”..

“Hello George”, I said.

“Ah, Ah Hi. And you are? Can I help you?” He said.

“Ah. It’s Nancy. Don’t even play me like that!” I said. His accessory (aka wife?) looked on shockingly.
“I’m sorry but you must be mistaking me for someone”, he said. “Many people look like me in this town”.

“Ohhh no asshole. Are you married?” I asked calmly.

“Yes I’m married. Very happily married, I might add. You need help, excuse me”. He tried to pass me.

“George (last name). You were a Boston University Law Professor. We dated for almost a year, about 10 years ago. You have a facebook account named GeorgieM, which I’m assuming YOUR WIFE has no idea about. You have a “bachelor” apartment overlooking the park. I rocked your world a few nights these last 3 weeks. You sought me out and told me, you just broke up with your girlfriend!”

“No, not me.” he said.

“Excuse me”, his wife said as she tried to pass me.

“No, excuse me. You are married to one hell of a scumbag honey!” I screamed. “Now I know why he cheats on you and has a second life in the city during the week! Because he can! You’re pathetic!”
“You’re a psychopath”, she screamed.

Clearly his wife knows or has a hunch but chooses to look the other way. Not my problem! Pathetic woman!

I turned around to return to my friends. I clearly needed another drink.

“Was that THE George?” My girlfriend said.

“Yes. Yes it was. Un-f*@king-believable. This always happens to me. What the hell?” Then, I thought for a second. Does it really JUST happen to me? This situation was too seamless, quick and so matter of fact for it to be rare. How many other women were in my shoes or have experienced something similar?

To Women both cheated on and cheated with:

• If you have a hunch your man might be cheating, he probably is. He is most likely a narcissist.
• If he has an apartment in the city or somewhere else during the week because he has to “work”, he most likely is or wants to have an affair.
• Stop being so clingy and keep yourself in shape. Otherwise, he is just not that into you.
• If he wants to leave, don’t make him stay for the kids. They are not your pawns. If he cared about the kids (family) in the first place, he would have kept his dick in his pants.
• Men should start being held more responsible. I see more lawsuits coming such as emotional abandonment and criminal and civil STD lawsuits.
• You are not to blame.
• Narcissists ensnare everyone.
• Learning how to leave is important.
• Rebuilding a life takes courage but you can do it.
• There are plenty of people to help you, but it may not be your family or friends.
• Information can be your ally to learn you are not alone.
• It will take time to heal.
• It’s ok to be alone.
• He is not the be all end all.

To Men:

• Don’t lie to us. Don’t lie to any of us girls. You will get caught. We will start making scenes. You will not get away with it. We will start with the lawsuits.
• You most likely were not that good anyway. Your wife has got a real prize...in more ways than one.
• You are not a stud or a playa. You are an arrogant jerk who got caught with your pants down. Tool!
• Maybe your wife doesn’t notice or she’s too in love with her “perfect” husband to see, but you are losing your hair. If you weren’t aware, please take note. Most of you 40+ men do.
• You will get yours, even if it is years later.
• We are not your toys!

Feel free to email me, leave comments or join my sex and dating group.